What it is like to be left behind from a suicide

Checking out early is a bad idea, let me tell you that it will REALLY suck for those you leave behind.

You never know what innocent object or comment will set off a round of crying. Today it was a FB meme about planting a tree based on a Greek Parable.

Perhaps seeing the Lint Roller in the bathroom will do it. Karen would squat on the floor (hurt to much to set) and do “Dryer Time” with the dogs. While she delinted the clothes she used the time to train the dogs for “down stays”.

I gave Karen a CamCorder when we got married in 1993 for a wedding present (CamCorders were very rare in those days). She was always filming family events. There are 23 two hour tapes. I never wanted to watch these, simply hurts to much. Alas I've force myself to watch the time frame when the Fluoroqunilone Antibiotics in the hopes of finding a video of her on her 'skate board' (for moving furniture) with her carpet layer knee-pads on from when she could not walk for a YEAR due to these drugs. Sadly no such thing exists. I was hoping to find that for the FDA hearing coming up this Thursday Nov. 5th in DC. Karen's book has been entered as evidence and will be available to all that attend the hearing. It is unclear if that information will be available on http://www.fda.gov that day.

Her nephew hated having his picture taken the most. He is the one person that asked to watch her tapes. I'll be giving them all to him at Thanksgiving along with the CamCorder itself.

On the very last tape, the one that was still in the CamCorder, her mother said something about being 138 years old. Karen said “I won't live that long” in response. :-(


  • blog/bpaddock/what_it_is_like_to_be_left_behind_from_a_suicide.txt
  • Last modified: 2015/11/01 14:45
  • by bpaddock